Forever Working on Fitness

It seems once you start, you can never stop.  Although when it comes to your fitness, and well being, you should never stop.  What I find interesting is that I go through phases of workouts.  When I started, all I did was Pilates.  Mat Pilates.  I loved it!  Then I found some great cardio workouts, then I started weight lifting and dropped the Pilates.  Then it was cardio, cardio, cardio, followed by running and yoga.  At this current moment it's all Yoga.  I tend to get into a workout, then my brain starts to work against me.  Then I try to figure out ways to add all my various workout favorites into the week.

That is usually where I burn out and stop working out regularly for a week or so.  So for years I've been trying to schedule everything I enjoy doing, and still manage to do everything else I need to do, because you know, I am apparently an adult, and have to be responsible. Sometimes that responsibility includes looking at what your workouts are, and figuring out if they really are working for you.  And while I think in some ways the Yoga is helping, I also think that I need to add something more in there.

And I also am finding that I am rambling in this post.  Isn't that just entertaining to you?

So, before I completely loose any focus on this entry, I'll ask anyone who happens to read this.  What do you do to maintain balance between your workouts?  Do you stick with one thing, or do you have a schedule you follow?

Let me know in the comments what your workout routine is.  Does it make you happy?  That is very important, none of this painful I hate life workout stuff.

One Week Later

So, it has been a week since I resurrected this blog and posted about my frustrations about the negativity in the world.  One week since I stopped news notifications, and stopped reading my news websites.

In that week,  I have found the website calm.com  A meditation website/app.  And I started to meditate every day using the meditations on that app.
I have also started going to happier.com instead of news websites.  And in general focusing on positivity.
There was one moment, where my husband showed me this awful video that was circling facebook.  While I'm not going to shut down people telling me about news, or completely ignore major news that is going on, at the same time, I don't want to watch a video about some soldier overseas that is basically bullying some poor kids in a country we are at war against.  The only reason people post videos of that sort is to get some kind of reaction.  I told my husband I don't want to see anything like that because what am I going to do? Fly overseas and slap the guy?
So, other than that moment of frustration, I have noticed a change in my attitude in this first week.  I've gone into situations with co-workers with a more open mind.  Usually I would go in with a negative "I don't want to deal with you" attitude and the entire conversation would be unpleasant.  Which really wasn't like me at all.  I would always leave the situation thinking "I used to be such a nice person"

In doing the 100happydays challenge I've stopped more through the day to acknowledge things that make me happy.  I suppose I've been more in the moment.  Now, I'm not saying I've managed a complete 180 in a week.  I still manage to get really irritated by some things.

I've been thinking during this week, that I need to get a notebook and cary it around all the time.  So that I can just write things down as I think of them.  Yes, I have many note apps on my phone, but I am just one of those people who think best on paper.  This blog is really a challenge to that, since I don't write it down on paper first.  I think by writing things down on paper, I probably would have some subjects to keep my blog going, as well as be able to transfer things either to my journal, which I am not comfortable carrying around with me everywhere. Or, if applicable, to my story that I hope to write.  Because I am of course, one of those people who is totally going to write a book someday.   And rather than carrying a bunch of different notebooks for different things, I think one in general will suffice.

Now, I have searched my house and found an old composition book I used for what looks like a creative writing class I took in collage.  So, the book is over 15 years old.  It's kinda strange, because part of me doesn't want to use it.  But it's not like I'm going to take that class again, and need it for the class.  I might as well fill it up with my thoughts, and give the blank pages the use they deserve.  Right?
So, this week will start that project.  As well as trying to actually write in my journal.

My journal is a book that was given to me in 1994. It's not a very thick book.  I've been writing in it off and on (mostly off) since then.  it's 2016, you can see how often I write in it.  I'm trying to write in it more, but I know that if I say "I will write every day!" I will fail early.  But, I feel that if I write every Sunday, I might manage.  At this time in my life, Sundays are my recover day.  I managed to do a massive amount of yard work on Saturdays at this time.  A project that will take me into October for the first part, and will start up again in spring for the second part.  This first part is exhausting.  Placing pavers in a pattern.  I can really only handle 36 at a time and the next day I feel it.  It doesn't help that I think we are still under this "heat dome" thing so I'm fighting heat exhaustion when I do this work.  Even if I wake early (which for me is hard on a Saturday) I'm still sweltering by 9am with this project.  I obviously would make a horrible construction worker.

So, because of that, my Sundays are Yoga, Meditation, and writing.  With cooking dinner and watering plants thrown in because stuff still has to get done.  So with that time frame, I believe this blog should be consistently updated on Sundays.  I know that last post was a Monday, but that last post had to get out of me before my head imploded with it.

We will see how I do carrying that notebook around.  I'll be sure to let you know how that's going next Sunday.

100 Happy Days Challenge and Hello again!

I'm resurrecting this blog today.  I have found myself wanting to write on and on about various things, but never quite having the time to put them down on paper, or computer as it were.  Most of that problem stems from the fact that I can think of about 5-10 different posts to write at any given time... although usually while I'm washing the dishes.  But, by the time I have made it to my computer I'm done for the day and don't want to think.

But lately, there has been so much going on, both in my own mind, and in the world, that I feel the need to step back into this forum, if only to get my thoughts out of my head.

So today I'm going to talk about happiness, and the 100 happy days challenge.  This isn't something I've created, but something I stumbled on today.

While I'm at work, I usually have the internet browser up.  My number one reason being that I use my google calendar for everything to keep me on track, and make sure I don't miss anything, work or personal.  Another reason is because I work in video, on an old computer.  Which means render time eats up a lot of my day, and I can't really do too much else while rendering that's going to use up a lot of computer power.  Staring at the little render line can drive a person nuts, so I usually read the news on various news websites while I wait for my computer to do it's thing.

On top of that, I have the AP app on my phone.  There are days where I have other tasks to complete that I don't look online at all.  I wanted to keep up with the national stuff.  I believe I downloaded the AP app shortly after the Sandy Hook shooting.  Then earlier this year, or late last year, I don't quite recall, I started to follow an online news outlet that is local, so I could know what was going on in my own town/state.  I had the notifications on twitter turned on so I could see anything that was posted fairly immediately.

So here I am, keeping up to date on news.  Being aware of what is going on in the world.  But today I woke up, turned my alarm off on my phone, and saw yet another shooting at a nightclub in Florida. Then at work I'm reading about this horrible thing that happened today, and that horrible thing that happened today.  Then my phone lights up with the arrests around town.  I'm not sure at what point it was that my brain said "stop".

It could be that I've been binge watching (well, listening to really) Kino Yoga (on youtube) mainly her playlist on "Living the Yogi's Life"

Who knows what the real cause was, but the moment happened this afternoon when I closed the news browser, unfollowed the news twitter account, and turned off notifications in my AP app.  Then I started to google "happy websites"  because everything that is being fed to me is misery and destruction.  Blood, bullets, bombs, killings......

I decided at that moment that, while I'm not going to plug my ears and say "lalala" when I happen upon the news, I'm also not going to binge feed my brain everything.  What if I wake up in the morning and the first thing I see isn't bad news that happened while I was sleeping?  What if it's something good?  Or, just the numbers on the clock telling me the time?

So, one of the websites I found was 100happydays.com  A website challenging you to have 100 happy days.  To take a photo of something that made you happy every day for 100 days.  I signed up and started today, using my instagram account as the source of the photo being put out into the world.  Now, I was looking later at different pages referring to it, and saw a site where someone was talking about how this was a horrible idea.  that no one has an "exciting day" everyday for 100 days.  It's something that made you happy.  Not having an exciting day.  I think that, even on the worst day of your life, there has to be a tiny spark of something that made you happy, even for a moment.  The idea is that by recognizing these sparks of happiness, that you will appreciate them, and in the end be happier for living in the moment, rather than searching for happiness.

Another part of the challenge is to take the photo of something that truly made you happy.  Not something you think others will like.  So, I have decided in my posts of this challenge, that I will not explain why something made me happy, I will not hashtag the hell out of a post, I will just list the day and the hashtag for the challenge, and that will be it.

Here's hoping that anyone who stumbles upon this will find a little more happiness in their lives.

@---{------

Tea and Always Looking for a Way Out

Of my job that is.

Don't get me wrong.  I really enjoy what I do.  When I'm editing video like the main aspect of my job description says.  It's the drama of being a departmental manager that makes me want to leave the business altogether.

And this year, for some reason, has been worse then in the past.  About every year in the fall I start debating what else I could do.  I've looked into going back to school for teaching.  But I really think that at my age, I'm a bit disadvantaged in this market.

Then I thought, I'll teach fitness classes.  But really, how many turbo kicks can a person really teach in a day without crashing?  So realistically, I don't think I can make a living off one class.

Unless that class is Pilates?  I would love to be certified.  I looked at the closest place.  I looked at the price, the hours, and then remembered; I have a three year old, a husband, and a job.  I can't be driving the 4 hours needed to get that training in.

And my dream felt crushed.  Then out of the blue, my Pilates instructor tells me that they might be setting up a course here in town.  They will have the certification people COME HERE!!  The cost would be less, because of a buying equipment discount (something of that sort for the gym)

And my hopes jumped through the roof, and my brain already fast forwarded to me quitting my job in such a way that I no longer deal with the drama, but can work part time editing.

Of course, not sure my boss would ever go for that.  But I can edit on my home computer now.  Professionally, not the freebie stuff that comes on a windows.

So, I could still edit video to my hearts content (provided I can think of what I want to edit) and teach pilates, and quite likely make a living.

Then perhaps I could take up teaching PiYo, or hooping, or.....

See.  That is my brain looking for a way out.

Since the possibility of the training won't even start until next year sometime. I have a few months to determine if I really want to do this, or if it's a flight of fancy.

But considering how many times I've circled around to the fitness business, I have a feeling I will go through the training.

Which is so confusing for me, considering that I left work today thinking "I love my job"

like I said, some aspects are wonderful and beautiful.  And others I could do without.

And writing this down here, really hasn't helped me gain perspective of what I want.  I really feel like I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Tea and LAZIK

Ah, to be able to see without glasses.  If you wear glasses, you know the feeling.  If you don't, then you will never quite know.  It can be explained, but never truly experienced.

In fact, when I informed a co-worker that I was getting LAZIK they responded with the usual questions: cost?  (oh, about $4000) Risk? (oh, well, I suppose the worst that could happen is you could go blind...)  "Oh, well why would you want to take that chance, it's your eyes"

Yes, well, the thought of waking up at 3am, rolling over, and being able to see the clock to know that it is 3am is enough to take a chance on a proven surgery method, that everyone I know that has had it, has had mostly success.  Only one person didn't, and they didn't go blind.  They just had one eye they had to go in a second time for it to "take" as they put it.

So, I made the appointment, and only got nervous they day I had to go into my eye doctors office and have my eyes dilated. I think it was due to the "this is it" mentality.  Since I had to pay them a good chunk of change on that day for the year of follow up appointments I would be having.

A little over a week later I was in the car, on a four hour drive to "get new eyes" as my husband put it.

Not nervous.  No butterflies in my stomach.  Just a bit of anticipation, an eagerness to open my eyes in the morning and see.  To be able to go to bed at night without digging contacts out of my eyes.  Or stumbling in the middle of the night to my daughters room, nearly running into the wall because, not only am I not awake, but I didn't put my glasses on.  And heaven forbid I have to change a diaper, or find a lost sock.  These are things one shouldn't do with fuzzy vision.

So, we find the offices, an hour early, The Dishler Laser Institute.   But that was planned.  They want you to eat before going into surgery.  After we made sure we knew where the place was, we went to lunch.  We drove around until we found a place to eat. It was a Deli place, I don't remember the name, but it was pretty good.  Then back to the offices we went.  Their office was on one of the higher floors.  I think there was only one or two floors above them.

We stepped off the elevator, and saw these glass doors that informed us we were at the correct location.   We walked in, and it was like  the waiting room to a spa.  There was a pretty complete view of Denver, nice chairs, and water with cucumbers and lemons.  Really, I think it was the cucumber lemon water that gave it the spa feel.  Since you usually only see that in a spa. After I filled out the required paperwork (most of which I did at home) I found a chair and began the wait.  But, I still wasn't nervous.  I read my book on my phone, while my husband read out of a book on the table.  Then I was called in.

The appointment had three parts to it.  First they eye check.  This was mostly your standard eye exam to start.  Followed by some tests I've never had done before.  I think they were tests to measure your eye, to make sure they calibrate everything.  At one point I had to stare at an image and hold my eye open.  For some reason it took her longer on one eye than they other, and she apologized quite a bit for that, then said "but you did really well not blinking or anything."  Kind of in a surprised tone.  I replied "you obviously haven't done much photo shopping have you?"  and mimicked holding a mouse while staring, unblinkingly, ahead.  (seriously, sometimes I think you have to set a timer to remember to blink with that program).

Then I was back in the waiting room.  Drinking "fancy water" and reading.  Part two was the explanation of medication.  Here they went over the pills, one for pain, one to relax.  The eye drops, and how often.  The first week your life is eye drops.  It goes down considerably after that.  The sunglasses, and night goggles.  Don't rub your eyes.  What time to take your eye drops right after surgery.

Then on to part three.  The surgery.  I was lead into a room with what looked like leather lazy boy chairs.  I sat in one while they put surgery booties on my feet, a hair net over my hair, took my glasses, and put drops in my eyes.  I briefly met with the doctor, then the nurse came in and gave me more drops.

I was then led to surgery.  There were two lasers.  One that cuts the flap in your eye, and one that reshapes your eye to correct your vision.  The first took about 10 to 15 seconds each eye.  Really, I was just looking at a green light.  The second was a little longer, about 20 seconds per eye.  That was like looking into a red led light.  it had about six or seven lights it looked like.  I stared at it until it felt like I was going cross eyed, The only thing I felt was a breeze on my face.  Although there was a smell, like evaporating water.  Kinda like how it smells if you are boiling water and let it all boil out.  Right before the pan starts to burn.

Then it was over. I was led back to the lazy boy chair, and sat there with my eyes closed.  The nurse came in, and asked me if I could read what time it was.  It was strange, because it was like looking through a fog, but I could read it.  but I got the time wrong.  She looked at me kinda confused, and I looked again and corrected myself.   It was a case of it being close enough to changing to the next hour, that at first glance, you read the time an hour off.

I was given the bag of eye drops and such, and was given dark sunglasses to wear from that point on.  Out I walked into the lobby to find my husband.

We stayed at a hotel around the corner, and I followed the directions to take about a 3 hour nap, or at least rest my eyes.  I didn't think I had slept, but apparently I did.  We ordered in food, and while everything was still foggy, it was clearing up.  I ordered this spinach artichoke flat bread that had mushrooms and pesto sauce on it.  It was amazing.  I just had to throw that in there.  It was delicious, and I wish there was someplace where I live that made that.  I had to wait until 10 to put the drops in my eye, so I laid back and half watched the TV.  I did have a headache, but I think it was eye strain.  Mostly I had my eyes closed as I waited for 10pm to arrive.  I did fall asleep somewhere during Conan, because one minute a guest was on, the next the band was closing the show.  I hopped up, took the pill they sent me home with, did the eye drop thing, and went to bed.

The next day the fogginess was gone.  I could see, and it was awesome.

I am just about a week away from it being a month, and it's been great.  Because you can't exactly rest your eyes to heal, like you can a broken leg, I have noticed my eyes tire easily, but it's been getting better.

Overall, I completely recommend it.

Best of all, when something wakes me up at 3:37 am, I can quickly see what time it is, and roll over and go back to bed knowing my alarm isn't going off for another hour and 23 minutes.

Tea and Super Bowl

So, the Winter Dream tea was yummy, but the Peppermint Bark is amazing!  Just needed to say that.  It's so good.  They both have the chocolate bits in it, but the peppermint bark has little candy peppermint pieces in it.  It was like the first time I tried a vanilla chai.

So.... The Super Bowl.  I made the mistake of doing a little Super Bowl food shopping today.  Talk about a crowded store!  It was worse than the weekend before Christmas.  Of course I had the sense to stay out of the toy department the weekend before Christmas.  So I'm just talking from a grocery aisle viewpoint.  I can say that I bought way more food then we need, as we don't have a party, we have 2 adults and a 3 year old.
This will be the 8th game I've watched.  I never watched football before meeting my husband.  My roommate and I at one point decided that Super Bowl Sunday was for girls to watch sappy romance novels and eat pixy sticks and cookies. Honestly, I still prefer that type of Sunday marathon.

I do enjoy the commercials, but.... those are all online right now, so I'm not sure what the point of spending millions of dollars to air your big commercial, when people can see them anytime.  Yeah, you are getting your advertising out there, during the biggest game of the year.  The most watched TV show of the year. but still....  it's ridiculous, and I'm rambling.  So I'm outta hear.

Tea and Work

Tea of the week.....  Winter Dream by Lets Do Tea.   I tried the chocolate mint tea from Teavana last month.  The taste is okay, the smell is.....  not pleasant.  Now, Winter Dream on the other hand is a similar tea, Chocolate mint, with a very pleasing taste and smell.  I'm hoping this is a tea that will stick around through out summer as well.  Of course, I tend to drink a little less tea in the summer.  

I have discovered in the last few months that the more stressed I am, the less tea I manage to drink.  More so because when I'm super stressed at work, it's because I am super busy with projects and don't have a minute to get away from my desk to heat a cup of water.  This realization hit me when I was brewing a cup of tea, during a slow period where I really had almost nothing to do.  As busy as I am sometimes, I still need to step away from the desk.

Luckily my husband inadvertently given me a gift that will help me with that.  For Christmas I got the Nike Fuel band.  It encourages you to get up ever hour to move around for 5 minutes.  For the most part I've been trying to do that while at work.  At times it's a bit strange to just wander around the small building I work at and not look crazy.  When the temperature gets above 30 I plan to take my walking around outside to the parking lot.  I hope I'll look a little less crazy, but who knows.  

My co-worker has been trying to move around more.  That stems from the study that recently came out talking about those that sit all day have earlier deaths.  So, he sees me get up, and he follows.  One more person following and my entire department will be walking in circles around the building for five minutes.  I suppose that will cut the crazy factor down a little.