Tea and Always Looking for a Way Out

Of my job that is.

Don't get me wrong.  I really enjoy what I do.  When I'm editing video like the main aspect of my job description says.  It's the drama of being a departmental manager that makes me want to leave the business altogether.

And this year, for some reason, has been worse then in the past.  About every year in the fall I start debating what else I could do.  I've looked into going back to school for teaching.  But I really think that at my age, I'm a bit disadvantaged in this market.

Then I thought, I'll teach fitness classes.  But really, how many turbo kicks can a person really teach in a day without crashing?  So realistically, I don't think I can make a living off one class.

Unless that class is Pilates?  I would love to be certified.  I looked at the closest place.  I looked at the price, the hours, and then remembered; I have a three year old, a husband, and a job.  I can't be driving the 4 hours needed to get that training in.

And my dream felt crushed.  Then out of the blue, my Pilates instructor tells me that they might be setting up a course here in town.  They will have the certification people COME HERE!!  The cost would be less, because of a buying equipment discount (something of that sort for the gym)

And my hopes jumped through the roof, and my brain already fast forwarded to me quitting my job in such a way that I no longer deal with the drama, but can work part time editing.

Of course, not sure my boss would ever go for that.  But I can edit on my home computer now.  Professionally, not the freebie stuff that comes on a windows.

So, I could still edit video to my hearts content (provided I can think of what I want to edit) and teach pilates, and quite likely make a living.

Then perhaps I could take up teaching PiYo, or hooping, or.....

See.  That is my brain looking for a way out.

Since the possibility of the training won't even start until next year sometime. I have a few months to determine if I really want to do this, or if it's a flight of fancy.

But considering how many times I've circled around to the fitness business, I have a feeling I will go through the training.

Which is so confusing for me, considering that I left work today thinking "I love my job"

like I said, some aspects are wonderful and beautiful.  And others I could do without.

And writing this down here, really hasn't helped me gain perspective of what I want.  I really feel like I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.